Quote Round Up

“Wait. WHAT happened to the security guard?…. To shreds you say? Well… What about his girlfriend?…. To shreds you say?”

“I wish it was snowing Starbursts”

“Didn’t you take math?”
“No. I misread. I thought it said ‘meth’ so…. My meth skills are great but I don’t know how to add.”

“I really want the award to be a pair of boobs. On fire. And I want the fire to spell out ‘first’. It’s representative of our audience.”

“Whatever. That’s my power word.”

“That’s more emo than goth. Emo works too, you just have to wear more neon but in a sad way.”

“If you had sex with Siamese twins with 2 heads, 2 brains, 2 personalities but 1 body, does it count as sleeping with 1 person or 2? If the Siamese Twins have 1 vajayjay but 2 heads, does it still count as a threesome? Do both orgasm? Does it count as a multiple orgasm? SOMEONE BRING ME SIAMESE TWINS! OR TWO GIRLS, A NEEDLE, AND SOME FLOSS! EITHER WAY, WE WILL HAVE ANSWERS!”

“Can we just skip early 90s shitty grunge retro and go straight to nu metal? These huge jeans aren’t gonna wear themselves…”

“Having the Machinima password is like having the password to God’s YouTube channel.”
“God wouldn’t say ‘fuck’ in his vids as much as we do”

“All books should come bound in black leather.”
“All women should come bound in black leather.”

“I don’t think so.”
“Well, I don’t pay you to think. Which is why you’re so good at your job.”

“None of those are even words!”
“YOUR MOM’S A WORD! Word to ya motha.”

“Want to get dinner tonight?”
“I can’t. I botched my ‘able to leave work on time’ roll.”
“Seriously. Stop playing Vampire D&D in real life.”

“Put it this way… if we were a Sabbat Pack, my vinculum for that entire email chain would be -14.”
“Your nerdiness is exceptional today.”

“The Sabbat are like ‘Ring ring. Ring ring. Sab-BatPhone.'”

“Does anyone have a flash drive I can use?”
“……………Dost any of thou have a flash drive I can useth?”

“This actress gets to roll around in a sex cave with Kit Harington? Nothing in life is fair. She is the 1%. Occupy Rose Lesile.”

“I thought you were gay but I guess you’re just a vampire.”

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