Check out my new luggage set

Touring and traveling as much as I do has been HELL on my suitcases. My slick black carry-on got stolen, my blue duffel roller got torn to pieces when we used it as a makeshift drum case in Europe, my little green roller has been thrashed since the 90s yet I still have it, my medium pink suitcase got dropped down one too many elevator shafts (don’t ask), and my big pink suitcase has been beaten, battered, torn, thrown, shoved in bays and ripped out again until it looks like something out of a horror movie. I mean it has had most of the western world shoved in it so I guess it is high time that I replace my hodge-podge of suitcases with a nifty matching set.

I considered getting an all-black matching set but the problem with Suitcase Goth is that everyone ELSE has black suitcases and there is nothing I like less than having to grab 80 suitcases that aren’t mine before I actually realize mine was the first one out and some old lady is wandering off with it. And don’t tell me to tie something to it or spraypaint it. With as much as I travel, anything I tie to it gets ripped off and the paint gets worn off. I’m so not kidding because I’ve tried both. I originally got pink suitcases hoping they’d stand out more but there is a minimum of at least three other people at any given airport with the same idea so it just turns into a fail parade.

So when my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I responded eagerly “NEW LUGGAGE!” That, ps, is how you know you’re old because I remember when I wanted a My Little Pony Castle and now I’m asking for freaking luggage. But whatever, they don’t make any cool My Little Ponies anymore so fuck Hasbro, its luggage time! I found the actual ugliest, most amazing, totally legit-city luggage set. I’ve always wanted matching luggage so I am now the proud owner of this ridiculously awesome set of lavender and leopard luggage. If anyone else at the airport has the same luggage as me, I’ll be totally shell shocked.

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