O Rly? He is no Sooperman?

Okay… so the following is a myspace conversation about my earlier Batwoman post. This Dude and I went back and forth about comic books until he uttered the most amazingly absurd sentence in the English Language. I put it in order so you can see some of the other hilarious shit he said, if you’re nerdly enough to be into it. If not, just skip to the red part at the end. My bits are in bold and his are in italics.

Lame…. Bat girl is a character that just gets in the way of things… and gets captured…. so Batman has to save. JUST LIKE ROBIN… the fact that they keep killing of Batman, shows that the creator is too old and senial, to remember that he killed off BRUCE WAYNE

—————– Original Message —————–

First, its Batwoman who is taking over Detective Comics, not Batgirl.

Second, they’ve killed Bruce Wayne several times. Just like they’ve killed Captain America, Superman, Iron Man… Comics kill and bring back superheroes all the time.

Third, if you think the creator of a title is still the one putting together stories, boy are you in for a shock.

—————– Original Message —————–

I think Captain America only died once.. and that just recently happened. When he was assassinated

Batwoman, Bat Girl, Robin, all wannabe super heros trying to step out of the shadow of Batman. It ain’t going to work. If DC wants to make a insane mistake by having Batwoman lead DC….. WOW! they are soon to go bankrupt in an already fucked economy.
And who i was referring to, was the creator of Hulk, Iron Man and most of all the Marvel Characters.. he needs to stop. and the writers need to reevaluate the ability to recreate a character all over again. I think the Punisher was the only good story, b/c he was replaced with someone who shared the same vision and who was delt the same fate.

—————– Original Message —————–

Okay, that doesn’t make any sense. First of all, why would you say “the fact that they keep killing of Batman, shows that the creator is too old and senial, to remember that he killed off BRUCE WAYNE” when you are talking about “was the creator of Hulk, Iron Man and most of all the Marvel Characters”. Marvel and DC are too totally separate comic houses. Its like Mac and PC. Plus, there are multiple creators: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby co-created Hulk and Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Don Heck, and Jack Kirby created Iron Man. But not a single one of those people have anything to do with Batman.

As for the whole “zomg the other characters can’t take over Batman or it will crash DC” – that’s patently untrue. Publicity stunts like this, be it the death of Superman or the 4 Robins, work really well. Any time a hero dies/quits and someone else must rise to take his or her place, the series usually sees a tremendous spike in sales. Combined with the very smart marketing they are doing by having these characters fight for the cowl, DC is poised to see one of its most successful runs in several years. The reaction to this and the news of the lesbian Batwoman taking over Detective Comics (which is different from DC) at New York ComicCon was massive.

And *who* replaced the Punisher who shared the same fate? The only Punisher was Frank Castle unless you mean the bullshit unleashed in Punisher 2099 where his daughter takes over or the mangaverse where Sosumi Brown is the Punisher. Both of them are girls so how is that different from Batwoman?
—————– Original Message —————–

ONE: Batman has carried DC for a very very very long time. You are comparing ROBINs death to Batman? TOTALLY DIFFERENT, publicity stunts…… and i know the difference between Marvel and DC…. Stan Lee was the major contribution to both hulk and Iron man, so yea Just like DISNEY isn’t the SOLE creator of Disney Studios, he still earns and takes the bosses chair.
SECOND: Last I heard Punisher is put to death, b/c Spider Man or some other Marvel Character turns him in to the authorities. And then Given the Death Sentence.. Then he is “Resurrected” under a different name and guy…. And b/c of that, SALES DROPPED and Punisher issues were Canceled.

THIRD: BATMAN is the ONLY reason DC is still around, unless you want to start counting the other lame ass characters…… Didn’t poles show that Joker was rated the #1 villain of all comics?… If they wanted to bust a publicity stunt, they should have came out with The Joker Comics. Start from the very being and show the life through the Jokers eyes… b/c while he was fighting Batman he was also taking out major crime lords in order to gain total power of Gothem City.. DC brief tapped into the Jokers life….. but they should really go in depth. BUT DON’T TURN DC and the Batman legacy into a REALITY TV SHOW…we have enough of that. Its fucken lame to see a lesbian “Batwoman” replace “The Dark Knight”… I’d rather give it to Night Wing, and least he has a story to offer, other than sexual preference…… Its a desperate attempt to gain exposure.

—————– Original Message —————–

One: I believe I compared his death to Superman’s as well. And I said when comic houses do stuff like this, such as killing Superman or all the ever changing Robins, they see a spike in sales. Yes, its a publicity stunt. It still sells books. And if you know the difference between Marvel and DC, WHY did you first say “the fact that they keep killing of Batman, shows that the creator is too old and senial, to remember that he killed off BRUCE WAYNE” when you are talking about “the creator of Hulk, Iron Man and most of all the Marvel Characters”?????? And Disney doesn’t earn anything at Disney. He’s been dead for decades!

Two: It was actually the resurrection of Punisher that brought the book back. The book went into decline in 1995 and was canceled. Garth Ennis brought it back for a minirun under Marvel Knights in 2000 that helped revive the Punisher’s popularity. It turned into a 37 book run and when popularity declined again, Robert Kirkman took over and wrote Punisher 2099 to help revive the books sales, which is did. With the excitement of the alternative universe Punisher, Ennis was moved to the more mature Marvel Max imprint and allowed to write the hardnosed, dirty, awesome Punisher stories we have today. The only thing you could be thinking of is The Punisher 2099 series from ’93 with Jake Gallows. But Frank Castle wasn’t killed off in any of these spinoffs – they were just set in the future.

Three: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA whaaaaaat? Where on EARTH are you getting this? Side stories ALWAYS outsell the main titles because the main characters have been running for 50 years. 52, which initially featured the new lesbian Batwoman, blew every Batman book out of the WATER! Hell, the top selling graphic novel last year was the Watchmen which doesn’t even have any characters from the DC universe! And DC only has Batman???? Uhhhh Superman has always been the frontrunner in comic sales, excepting around the movie releases. Batman is doing better than Superman this year, due to the incredible success of the Dark Knight but its not by much. Why do you think Superman has a tv show on tv right now? Superman has always sold better. Hell, even JLA is outselling most of the Batman books until they took it upon themselves to kill Batman. In fact, the Dark Knight Returns – when Batman is killed – is hailed but comic book lovers as the book that saved the franchise and transformed it into the awesomely dark Batman of the last two movies.

Four: Nightwing has taken over before – or technically, Superman took him over initially upon the characters inception to the universe. Been there, done that. How are you saying Batwoman doesn’t have a story beyond her being a lesbian? Have you read ANYTHING about her to say that or are you just making a general and rather homophobic statement based on nothing? Nightwing has sucked so hard he has been played by six different characters. At least Batwoman didn’t have that level of unlikability.
—————– Original Message —————–

ONE: EVERYONE KNOWS SUPERMAN isn’t considered a superhero b/c he is a “wild card”…. AT the beginning of creation of superman the comics wouldn’t touch the character b/c he wasn’t marketable. The creator(s) actually came up with everything that would make a person unstoppable…. x ray vision, heat rays, faster then a speeding bullet, super strength, and the ability to fly (FUCKING RIDICULOUS). So they went back and actually came up with ONE WEAKNESS, Krypton. GIVE ME A FUCKEN BREAK…. it is clear that Batman is more marketable more people can relate to. Lives in a major city, infested with crime and corruption, lost his parents in a back alley due to a mugging gone wrong…. in a gang infested area. Haunted by his dreams and a little it “crazy”….taking on the character of “The Dark Knight”… the only thing I could think of that makes him vulnerable to criticism is he is a billionaire. The reason Batman killed Superman at the box office is b/c no one could relate to a man in red and blue tights, who has it all…. Everyone could relate to the person who has it all and nothing at the same time(Bruce). Ok lets go back to what I said before about the creator(s) of The Batman…I was trying to compare two things at once. The creator(s) of Batman need to stop killing him off b/c it has become boring and typical, it beginning to show that age has taken over and the creator(s) become SENIAL. Also the same goes for Marvel… If their going to keep them mortal, then when they die… they dn’t come back… that is how I feel. The Disney example, was an example to my point, weather Disney accepts money anymore b/c he is dead is irrelevant….. i dn’t really give in to ppl who get all wet for semantics, but in your case I’ll make the exception. Here is another example, Bill Gates is generally known as the creator of Microsoft. He didn’t do all the work, but he is still given the bosses chair. Now I hope you dn’t stray off topic and start nit picking at the Bill Gates example as a desperate attempt to grasp on to any potential information you could spin.
TWO: I believe Frank Castle was turned into authorities by Spider man…. when Marvel had its character VS ea other…. and i think DC might have got into the VS thing also. But apparently their was a Spiderman V.S Punisher, and punisher ended up on the electric chair, for his acts of murder. Don’t quote me on this I heard about this from many PUNISHER FANS… and they all said the exact same thing. (never really read Punisher, but love the character, simply b/c he is marketable and is tormented by the loss of his family)
THIRD: I think I wrote a whole Paragraph on why they should have given it to the JOKER… and you chose to touch base with Nightwing? the character i said, i’d “rather give it to then this New character”?! haha, wow- enough said
FORTH: you want to bring the excuse of “homophobia” into this.. fine. But I last time I checked when they released a new character they didn’t come out with “THE BILLIONAIRE and heterosexual BRUCE WAYNE”, or “Heterosexual Clark Kent”, “Heterosexual Frank Castle”, all these characters had their past marketed…..If you want to be blinded by the fact that when this character was released they used the leverage of her being a lesbian… then that your choice. But I see it for what it is. JUST A PUBLICITY STUNT, that is pathetic. They didn’t put to half as much energy into advertising her “struggle, heartache, pain, suffering, that turns her into BATWOMAN”… most of the energy was spent marketing her sexual preference.
CHECKMATE-

—————– Original Message —————–

Did you SERIOUSLY just say “everyone knows Superman isn’t considered a superhero”? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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FAIL!

You’re just pulling stuff out of your ass. That is the most ludicrous thing anyone has ever said in the history of the English language. Oh my god, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard! Superman not a superhero! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god! Oh my god, you’re an idiot! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Oh my fucking god, dude. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Ever. I literally had to lay down because I was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes. AAAAAAAAAMAZING! I can’t even touch how he wants them to give the title crown cowl of Batman to the Joker (huh?) , or how he’s never read the Punisher but its his example for a better comic, or his little tantrum about how Batwoman was marketed even though DC did exactly as he was screaming about. Ohhhhh nerd rage, I love you.

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